eye contact

is for EYE CONTACT

"An eye can threaten like a loaded and leveled gun; or can insult like hissing and kicking; or in its altered mood by beams of kindness, make the heart dance with joy."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mr. Emerson's eloquent statement certainly expresses the important role eyes play in communication, doesn't it?

Most employers report they would be hesitant to hire a person who is unable to look them in the eye.

What are some perceptions?

Lying

Not confident

Not trustworthy

Uncaring

Distracted

Embarrassed

Shifty

Hiding something

This is why reading a speech is an ineffective means of communication. If all or portions must be read, try to look up and reconnect with the audience during the reading.

When pointing to an overhead, chalkboard or flip chart, stand sideways. Your back to an audience is a no-no. You are disconnecting from the audience. Not only is it important for you to make eye contact with your audience, doing so with the right audience members can enhance your presentation. This is what the book (now out of print, but still available through some booksellers) titled, Business Presentations and Public Speaking has to say on this topic:

“Roam the audience with your eyes and spot the people agreeing with you: nodding, smiling, making facial expressions that validate yours indicate they’ve experienced the joy or pain you’re discussing. Make eye contact with these people, and keep coming back to them for more throughout your presentation. Experience shows that warmth, persuasiveness, and the power of this contact greatly improve how these audience “allies” and others receive the presentation. What’s more, their eye contact with you gives you the strength, courage and enthusiasm to put more energy into your presentation – energy that others in the audience can feel and respond to.”

Bert Decker has lots to say about eye contact in his bestselling book titled, You've Got to be Believed to be Heard. Here are a few tips:

For effective eye communication, count to five. A feeling of involvement requires about five seconds of steady eye contact.

Beware of the eye dart. The listener can read our anxiety in our darting eyes. We exude an "aroma" of fear and nervousness - and this undermines our credibility and makes our listener feel uncomfortable."

Beware of the slo-blink. This is where a person closes his or her eyes for up to two or three seconds while speaking. It conveys the message,"I really don't want to be here."

Jonathan Sprinkles has a cute video on the importance of eye contact. Check it out.

TRIAL LAWYER WINS MORE CASES

Mary Ellen Drummond shared how she helped a trial attorney to evaluate his effectiveness as a speaker. What she discovered was that despite the fact that he had excellent cases, presented himself in a straightforward, professional manner, and spoke eloquently, his jury members were constantly distracted by the bailiff passing out badges, pads and pencils during his opening arguments. He was not able to capture their attention, hold their eyes – connect with them. The success rate of his cases improved once he learned to wait until the jury members had all their materials and could give him their undivided attention before launching into his opening arguments.